The Wait Can Sometimes Hurt

We're still here and yes we're still waiting. We've survived about half the wait time now. Some days are easier than others. I try sometimes to keep my emotions in check because I don't want others thinking that I can't handle it or, worse yet, I don't want my 6 year old to get upset. It's hard though. Today is a difficult day. I woke up this morning to the radio station playing Christmas music. I had to start thinking about Christmas and the fact that we most likely won't have Katelin til after the holidays. It got me teary. My 6 year old and I were talking about Christmas time this morning as well (thanks radio station). She asked me if she could put Katelin's stocking up. Apparently she had asked her daddy to put an extra nail in the mantel this year for her sister's stocking. What could I say. I told her yes she could put it up. I am so thrilled that she's excited about her sister coming. And yet, I know it will be hard for us to have it there knowing that Katelin is still in Vietnam.

I understand the reasoning behind the timeframe and the review and such. But there is a part of me wondering how the people going through these documents can not feel the pain the parents in waiting are feeling. Maybe I'm assuming that they have no feelings? Maybe no one has every adopted in that office before? Alright the truth is, maybe I'm just feeling so sorry for myself that I just want to lash out?

I try to do the best I can to keep trusting in the Lord for my strength. He's gotten me through this far. Katelin turns 5 months on Saturday. I pray she is staying healthy and happy. I pray the Lord will somehow share with her (in His way) just how much we love her and can't wait for her to be a permanent part of our family.

Until that day I will just continue to pray. I got the opportunity to sing a song for the second time in church last Sunday. It's called "I Will Trust In Thee." Pretty fitting for our situation. The words are incredible. The first verse goes something like this: "When my path is dark before me, I will trust in Thee. When Thy face is hidden from me, I will trust in Thee. Though my burdens weigh upon my heart and hope seems from me, I will lift my hand, to thine my God, I will trust in Thee." Lord you found me and you definitely surround me. Thank you for your blessing and for allowing me to be human and share my feelings. I will trust in Thee. Amen

If anyone who has adopted or who is adopting or for any of our family and friends who are reading this blog has anything to share regarding their experiences or feelings please do so. We love all comments. I will share with you again after Thanksgiving. Until then, have a Happy Thanksgiving and remember to thank God for all things. Kristi